I feel the end is getting closer. There's less control in the back legs, more weakness in general. He seems to have less awareness and he's more restless than normal. There may also be some weight loss. With kidney failure brewing for 3 years, I wonder if it's going to catch up to him. My poor old dog Casper may be leaving this world soon.
We did however think the same thing this time last year. He was weaker, messing more in the house, sleeping more often and seemed less aware of his surroundings. I don't know if it's me thinking he made it through another winter, let's see if he can go one more. I don't know if it's wondering when the time will come, thinking that now I don't have the money for any heroics. It's not the easiest having an elderly dog and not being able to see into his future.
He's been my companion for 10 years. I adopted him while I was in school and he was my walking companion, my movie friends, the one I cried to when I was upset or depressed. We came to know each other as well as a dog and human can. He became my everything and guided my through my twenties. My loneliness, my dating, my breakups, my job losses. He took care of me so these last 2 - 3 years, when he became someone other than the dog I knew and loved, I took care of him. I've gone through different medications to help with brain function, different diets to help with brain and joint health, using a belly band to prevent urine leakages, cleaning up his various messes in the house. I've stuck with him when many other people would have said "no way! It's too much work and way too much money!"
I love my dog and I'm going to miss him when the time comes.
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