Yesterday

Yesterday I woke up heavy. I woke up not feeling happy and wanting to do nothing all day but stay in bed and stare at the television. I dragged myself out of bed, put on a house coat and went downstairs to let my old dog outside. I made coffee and spent two hours watching talk shows.

I hate days like this. Days where I have no energy, no will to do anything but mope. Days where the sun isn't out or is hiding behind massive ugly black clouds. I don't even have the will to eat or read. Getting dressed is a chore and putting in my contacts is worse. Yesterday was shaping up to be one of those days.

I journaled. I wrote about how I was feeling, what my aspirations for the day were (I had none) and how silly and stupid it all seemed. And then I wrote about forcing myself up off the couch and upstairs to change. And that's what I did. As much as I didn't want to do anything I figured that I should at least get dressed. Why not!! There's no harm in wearing a bra and pants. I also put in my contacts. That made me feel more human. Then I started thinking of all the things that should get done. We were expecting a house guest (he never showed) and he would possibly be spending the night. I don't like my guests sleeping in filth. My checklist started with changing the spare bed.

That's when I started my two hour house cleaning rampage. I went from 0 - 60 in 10 minutes and had the litters changed and boxes washed, the bedrooms vacuumed, the guest bathroom washed, the guest bed changed. And then I turned my attention to the living room. I dusts and plumped, organized and vacuumed. I washed the TV and groomed my plants. Once my chores were done I got ready to go for a walk. And what a glorious walk it was!!! When I got home I did my weights.

Yesterday turned out to be an ok day and I'm extremely proud of myself for getting myself up at dressed. I find it very hard to motivate myself when I'm feeling so low. Motivation doesn't happen every day but when it does it turns my day from being a bedridden one to being one of energy and happiness!

Now just to turn today around too...